In The Jane Austen Guide to Happily Ever After, Elizabeth Kantor asks in a section about “Taking Relationships Seriously”: Can we have Jane Austen-style elegance, dignity, and happy love only with no cost to modern freedom and equality? The answer is an unqualified yes if, like Austen’s heroines, we approach romance with a rational balance to sex and love and work hard on all our relationships, not just the romantic ones. The Guide is filled with clear-eyed information and advice gleaned from Jane Austen’s novels. Sprinkled throughout the book are selected tips for Janeites. They include:- Don’t wait to pursue happiness in love until “some time or other” in the future.
- If you think about “settling” — think again.
- The very highest standards for yourself are perfectly compatible with the highest degree of respect and compassion for other people — in fact, they tend to go together.
- In Jane Austen (and in life), when it comes to human beings, past performance is an excellent predictor of future results.
- You are the only person you have a right to control.
Jane: “You persist, then, in supposing his sisters influence him?”
Elizabeth: “Yes, in conjunction with his friend.”
“I cannot believe it. Why should they try to influence him? They can only wish his happiness; and if he is attached to me, no other woman can secure it.”
“Your first position is false. They may wish many things besides his happiness; they may wish his increase of wealth and consequence; they may wish him to marry a girl who has all the importance of money, great connections and pride.”
Jane Austen didn’t think we could make it all better by becoming cynics about love – by trying to isolate sex with all its complications from our serious hopes for our lives because we’ve given up on the bliss love promises. She wouldn’t see the point of trying to limit romance to a recreation, instead of a chance for ‘permanent happiness.’
If you are tempted to pick up a copy of The Jane Austen Guide to Happily Ever After one thing is for certain – you will gain a new perspective on how to approach modern romance from the advice from one of the world’s most famous regency spinsters. I give the book 4 1/2 out of five regency teacups. For a sneak peek, go to Amazon and read the introduction.
About the author: Elizabeth Kantor is the author of The Politically Incorrect Guide to English and American Literature and an editor for Regnery Publishing. She earned her Ph.D. in English from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and an M.A. in philosophy from the Catholic University of America. She is an avid Jane Austen fan.
Order the book at Amazon.
Hardcover: 304 pages
Publisher: Regnery Publishing (April 2, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1596987847
ISBN-13: 978-1596987845
Jane Austen's World 
Dear LaurenAnn, Vic and other lovers of this fabulous site, Happy World Book Day!
“Can we have Jane Austen-style elegance, dignity, and happy love only at the cost of modern freedom and equality? The answer is an unqualified yes if, like Austen’s heroines, we approach romance with a rational balance to sex and love and work hard on all our relationships, not just the romantic ones.”
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I think you mean “an unqualified ‘no'”. In that we don’t have to give up modern freedom and equality to achieve Austen-style elegance, dignity and happy love.
I enjoyed your comments. I’d like to read this book as well.
I’ll have to check to see if this is in my queue to be purchased. If not, it soon will be. Thanks for the review!
Good evening!
It’s really interesting book about the Jane Austen’s thought and behavior. Living free as bird as well as anything we’ve ever seen. But sometimes, I stop and start tihinking about the solitude. I think it’s more easy for a woman survive alone, break some men’s hearts, but for us, males, it’s hard break a woman’s heart, conquer her heart and living alone. Men are very dependent, I consider men are like big children nothing much more else…
Thank you for your comment. Fruit for thought!
Dear Dr. Kantor, I am an English Literature student at the University of Colorado in Boulder and just read your article on “Why Jane Austen would approve of online dating”. Just wanted to tell you that as a HUGE Jane Austen fan I thought it was great! Thanks for good read.
What I like about these ideas is that you show that the Austen novels can be used today to highlight ways to live our lives. I must admit I have been thinking the same thing for quite some time and have put my ideas into my blog.
Can you add a link to my blog? I’ m new at this caper and a little unsure what I’m doing. I’m a little like Emma matchmaking in maybe all the wrong places.