“I did myself the honour of calling in Berkeley Street last Tuesday, and very much regretted that I was not fortunate enough to find yourselves and Mrs. Jennings at home. My card was not lost, I hope.” Willoughby to Elinor, Sense and Sensibility, Chapter 28
The astute reader of Sense and Sensibility knows that Willoughby took care to visit Berkeley Street at precisely the time when no one would be “At Home” to receive him. This duplicitous action served to raise Marianne’s hopes when there was none, for Willoughby was already courting Miss Sophia Grey, an heiress with 50,000 pounds. When he found no one at home, Willoughby most likely placed his card in a silver salver on the hall table, much like the one from 1765, see image.
The etiquette of the time dictated that when a gentleman paid a call to a lady, he must leave his card behind. If no one was “At Home”, the visitor, in this instance Willoughby, would turn down one corner of the card. This meant that he had come in person. A gentleman was obliged to leave two calling cards, one for the man of the house, and one for the lady. If there was no gentleman, then only one card would be left.*
A visitor bearing a card in person carried more social weight than if one merely sent a groom or footman to present the card. Cards, like ladies’ fans, conveyed many messages. If a card was merely presented reciprocally by a third party, the card giver could be giving the strong message that they were unwilling to further the social acquaintance. “A reciprocal card may be given to the caller. If it was not presented formally, this usually meant there was no desire to further the acquaintance. If, however, a formal call was returned with a formal call, there was hope for the relationship to grow.” If a card was conveyed to the mistress of the house, and she decided not to receive the caller, then this would be a clear rejection. In this instance, the butler would announce that his mistress was ‘not at home’.
A gentleman’s card was slightly smaller in size than a lady’s, for he had to carry his cards inside his coat. Both sexes would have their names printed in simple script on cream colored stock. Cards were most likely kept in a beautiful card case (Click here to see an example), which came in many shapes and styles. Fancy visiting cards printed with flowers and scenes did not become popular until the Victorian era, and even then the upper classes refrained from using showy cards. Printed on the card were the person’s address and name, preceded with a title (or Mr. or Mrs.). The precise name and title on the calling card would be announced to the person who was receiving. Visits were kept short, no more than 20-minutes to 30 minutes, and were held in the drawing room on the first floor. Formal morning calls were actually paid after luncheon, between 3-6 pm on the day that the lady of the house had announced she would be receiving.
In 1861, Mrs. Beeton published her seminal Book of Household Management, and wrote that: “a strict account should be kept of ceremonial visits, and notice [taken] how soon your visits have been returned. An opinion may then be formed as to whether your frequent visits are … desirable.” Miss Caroline Bingley, for example, made it quite clear with her short and belated visit to Miss Bennet, who was visiting London, that she did not wish to further the social acquaintance. More importantly, Jane quickly understood her point.
It was quite the practice to impress other visitors with the names on the calling cards left on one’s silver salver. Obviously, the card of the most notable visitor, such as Viscountess Dalrymple in Persuasion, would be displayed most prominently on top of the card heap.
The Bath paper one morning announced the arrival of the Dowager Viscountess Dalrymple, and her daughter, the Honourable Miss Carteret; and all the comfort of No. –, Camden Place, was swept away for many days; for the Dalrymples (in Anne’s opinion, most unfortunately) were cousins of the Elliots; and the agony was how to introduce themselves properly.
Sir Walter, however, would choose his own means, and at last wrote a very fine letter of ample explanation, regret, and entreaty, to his right honourable cousin. Neither Lady Russell nor Mr Elliot could admire the letter; but it did all that was wanted, in bringing three lines of scrawl from the Dowager Viscountess. “She was very much honoured, and should be happy in their acquaintance.” The toils of the business were over, the sweets began. They visited in Laura Place, they had the cards of Dowager Viscountess Dalrymple, and the Honourable Miss Carteret, to be arranged wherever they might be most visible: and “Our cousins in Laura Place,”–“Our cousin, Lady Dalrymple and Miss Carteret,” were talked of to everybody. – Persuasion Chapter 16
A person leaving town would inform his friends of this action by dropping off a card with the letters P.P.C. written on them. The initials meant “pour prendre conge” or French for ” I’m leaving.” [Some cards used P.D.A. (pour dire adieu)]*. When a man married, he sent round cards to former acquaintances who were respectable enough to frequent his home. Anyone not receiving a card automatically understood their acquaintance to have been dropped. (Georgian Index) (Also, The Jane Austen Centre.)
Read more about calling cards in these links:
- *Etiquette for Gentlemen: Rules for Perfect Conduct, Copper Beech Publishing, 1995, p. 13. ISBN 978 1 898617 08 2
- Update: In September, 2008 the Jane Austen Centre featured this post about calling cards: The Ritual of Paying Social Calls.
Jane Austen's World 
Thank you for posting all these tidbits!
I just love reading your blog! THANKS for posting all of your wonderful information!!! I look forward to it every day!
Quick correction to today’s post….Mrs. Beeton didn’t publish her book in the late 19th century. “Mrs. Beeton’s Book on Household Management” was published in 1861. (She died in Feb 1865.) The book was a culmination of articles Mrs. Beeton had written for “The Englishwoman’s Domestic Magazine” in the late 1850s. If you haven’t read it before, this is really a fascinating book about mid-19th century life. A full copy of the book can be found at this web site: http://www.mrsbeeton.com/
I have a reproduction copy of the book from Oxford World Classics. (I purchased mine on Amazon.com.) I refer back to it all the time when doing mid-19th century research. Though I LOVE the Regency period, the 1850s-1860s is really my center of research/study.
Again, THANKS so much for your blog!!! I LOVE reading it each day!!! :O)
I so appreciate your input, Stacy, and made the change in date. I knew Mrs. Beeton had written a series of articles, but I thought she was also instrumental in putting her book together for her husband’s publishing company. I wish I had a copy of this book, if even a reproduction, although it is nice to refer to the e-text, which I do on occasion.
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your insights. Have you seen the film, The Secret Life of Mrs. Beeton? It’s tragic that she died so young.
Fanny – thank you for your comment!!
I find information like this fascinating — what was understood by others, based on who presented a card or whether one was presented when you were on congé…
Wouldn’t it be nice to have the free time to pay a call to potential friends…just to spend 20 minutes or so chatting…
Thanks for the fascinating information. I didn’t know about the leave taking cards.
You should add one more tag, “paper crafts”… I’m sure your post would spark off a new line of craze for paper arts and crafters!
Thanks for posting such a well-researched and engrossing read!
The Secret Life of Mrs. Beeton is on my list of movies to see. Unfortunately I missed it when it came out on PBS last year. I was using the e-text of Mrs. Beeton’s book until I stumbled upon a copy of it at a museum gift shop in Virginia. Once I had a chance to flip through an actual copy of the book, I decided I had to have a copy and I rushed home to buy a copy on Amazon.com. Books are really my weakness…I have to stay away from bookstores or I could spend the whole day there. ;O)
Oh, I forgot to mention…I took your advice and purchased a copy of “Jane Austen for Dummies.” What a GREAT READ!!! It was a refresher course for me on some topics, but for others I didn’t know it was a wonderful resource! I’m glad I found your post on the subject and got a copy! The title of the book really is misleading! THANKS again! :O)
This was just . fascinating. Now that I’ve ventured into the Disconnect (neither easy-access internet nor cell service [I have to drive thirty miles into Town to get a bar!], I’m forced to resort to snail-mail to keep in touch with my friends in Michigan. Because of your post, I am inspired to mail calling-card inspired brow-raisers and amuse myself imagining their “What the –!?” reactions.
I just love calling cards, I love the idea of having my name in some fleur de lis script, it would look very romantic and important looking, but then I end up changing my mind and don’t order any, maybe someday.
Such a great post!
I have just found your wonderful blog today, and have learned so much. Thank you! I can’t wait to read more.
As someone who works in the museum field, I would like to suggest to Stacy and others who find a useful book in a museum gift shop – please buy it there! True, it will probably be a bit more expensive than a copy from Amazon, but think of the difference as a small donation to the museum. Museums rely on admissions and gift shop revenue, and will put that “extra” money to good use, believe me. Who knows, they might even be able to display a Regency treasure or two.
I hope I don’t sound cranky; I just wanted to pass on my idea.
Thanks for the blog and the great comments.
Chris, As it so happens I have purchased many of my recent social history and art books from museum shops. I so agree that we need to support museums, and thank you for your suggestion.
Oh wow… a VERY belated thankyou for the link to Regency Manor. :)
I make tiny Victorian dolls and one day I found beautiful Victorian calling cards on the internet. The owner of the designs gave permission to print them and use them; it was clear that there was no charge whatsoever. I did so and now I can include my “calling card” when I mail out a doll.
Unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost the site. All I know is that the words Legend Designz were printed on the card.. but that has not helped me find the original site.
If anyone should know which site I speak of and could give me the address I would appreciate it very much. My email address is dollsmini@aol.com
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The informtion about the use of calling cards is fascinating. Would you be agreeable to my sending it to an online publication that is dedicated to pe9ple involved in miniatures? I make miniatue dolls and have made miniature calling cards for them.
The publication is free, no one is paid for any of the articles submitted.
Thanks so much for letting me know if publishing the above article is approved by you.
best wishes,
viola
Just a few question I hope someone will be able to answer. According to what I’ve read, having at home days and times printed on the card was in the victorian period. During the regency period or late georgian how did one know this information? Was one at home everyday? Were there specific days calls were made? How did one announce the days one was receiving?