Inquiring readers,
When Sanditon Season 1 first aired, I reviewed every episode in such detail that I now realize I can no longer reclaim the hours I lost watching and rewatching the program, researching the actors and locations, and writing down my thoughts, albeit tongue in cheek.
By Season 2, I had learned my lesson. I bundled the episodes together for fewer reviews (tongue still firmly planted in cheek).
My tongue and cheek begged me not to use them for Season 3. Alas and alack, I could not make such a promise. Spoiler alert (and trigger warning for those who are still developing an appreciation for comedy, irony and sarcasm): I am giving my full-blown and personal opinion based on how many times Jane Austen rolled in her grave when her spirit realized how her unfinished novel was given the 21st century commercial, rom-com, Regency treatment. As I watched the 6 episodes back to back, with power naps inbetween, my essential question was: “Where’s Jane in all of this?”
The season opens with Sir Eddy Denham suffering a Regency-style water rehabilitation (torture) treatment to unlearn his shifty and criminal ways. Jack Fox, who plays Lady Denham’s nephew, looks thin and wan, as if he’s been forced to fast every other day. Lady Denham (Anne Reid) sits on her silk sofa like a corseted spider who has woven a web so tight that Sir Eddy cannot escape his destiny – that of a loser. While his self-abasement is fueled by avarice and greed, this viewer wonders why his tired old storyline has been hauled out for the 3rd time.
Charlotte Heywood arrives in style to Sanditon in the same carriage that spirited her bereaved self away at the end of Season 2. She’s still engaged to the young farmer her father thought would become a suitable husband. Cai Brigden plays Ralph Starling, a handsome enough fiancé, who’s besotted with his betrothed. Ah, but has she forgotten Mr Colbourne? Or Sydney Parker for that matter? At this point I decided to use my Before-During-After critical thinking teacher strategies to examine Season 3’s plot.
Before
Season 1: Charlotte fell passionately in love with the incomparable Sydney Parker. Alas, the actor, Theo James, saw richer beach resorts on his horizon, and left poor Char forlorn, for she would never see such a beautifully sculpted naked man rising from the sea again. (Neither will we, for that matter.) In that season, Sanditon was just a mishmash of old cottages, new buildings, and muddy roads. Its story line more or less followed Austen’s script for 15-20 minutes. Then the deviation from her plot had me laughing so hard, that the wine I was drinking snorted out of my nose. I must say that Rose Williams as Charlotte is lovely and likable, and a realistically feisty miss. But I wondered after the end of Season 1 – what now?
During
Season 2: Of course the script writers had to kill Sydney off (Still, I asked: What if Theo changed his mind and wanted to come back? And what has become of young Stringer?) Oh, well. Charlotte’s journey without Sydney leads her to cold stiff Alexander Colbourne (Ben Lloyd-Hughes). He’s rich, I’ll give him that, but no amount of bronzer will make his body shine in glittering sunset-lit waters like Sydney’s. Sigh.
In her grief, Char seeks work as a governess. She lands at the doorstep of Alexander Colbourne, a widower with a child, Leonora, and his charge, Augusta. From the moment they meet, Char and Alex dislike-hate each other. He’s too opinionated and stubborn. She’s too opinionated and stubborn. When she’s finally had enough of his strict ways, she stomps out of his mansion, nearly slamming the door in his self-important face. He follows her on his splendid steed and basically says, “Hey, come back. See ya tomorrow.” As for the girls, one is unruly, the other repellent, but Char’s no quitter. In no time, Alex begins to desire her, and her knowledge of horses seals the deal. Did everyone see this coming? Of course. I must confess being so bored by their predictable storyline that I fell asleep. I did have one question, for my nap prevented me from following the plot closely: “Why, gentle readers, did she leave him to go home to her family at the end of S2 and get engaged to a mere farmer?”
Season 3: (We’re still in the During phase of this 3-part tale.) At the beginning of season 3 Char is still engaged to her daddy’s choice of a fine working husband. While I’m sure Ralph is a nice guy, he’s out of his comfort zone and her league, and all but disappears. He shows his discomfort and jealousy of the fine friends she’s made. Char’s only returned to Sanditon to celebrate Georgiana Lambe’s (Crystal Clarke) birthday. It is an auspicious occasion, for Georgiana will come into her substantial inheritance. Impoverished fortune hunters are waiting to crawl out of their expensive, unaffordable Sanditon boarding rooms to woo her.
But let’s leave the ho-humness of these stale plots and examine the sidebar romances, which added some spice and much excitement this season.
Sidebar Romance #1
The torturer in charge of Sir Eddy’s rehab is Dr Fuchs, who was practically invisible in Season 2. Rev Hankins, the second person employed by Lady D to change Sir Eddy into a nicer person, is working on our villain’s soul. The reverend’s long suffering sister, Beatrice, abides by his edicts, for as a spinster with no home of her own she must suffer his insufferability. She has no choice unless she wants to make baubles like Mrs Smith of Persuasion fame. When Rev Hankins and Beatrice leave church, Dr Fuchs (rhymes with mucks) chances upon the pair. He makes goo goo eyes at her and she simpers in return. Rev Hankins will have none of that! Well, you know how that will go. This romance weaves many comedic moments throughout the season. More importantly, their awkward flirting kept me semi-awake.
Sidebar Romance #2 (A Triple Romance with a Twist)
Ah, who would have guessed that Arthur Parker (Turlough Convery) and Edward Lord Harry Montrose (Edward Davis) would provide the truest sidebar romance in this overlong adaptation of Austen’s unfinished novel? To ward off pesky fortune hunters, Georgiana Lambe agrees to a pretend engagement to the Duke, whose family is penniless (unbeknownst to her.) She knows, though, that the Duke is attracted to his own sex. And that’s alright with her. (This means mitts off her nubile body.) Harry wants Arthur. Arthur wants Harry, but cannot hurt Georgiana. Georgiana just wants to keep up the pretense until she’s in full control of her fortune. Edward’s momma is ecstatic at the thought of her son’s union with an heiress and the replenishment of the family fortune. Lord Harry’s spinster sister, Lydia’s, situation reminds me of Beatrice’s, but Lydia has more status and has kept a secret meant to keep us on the edge of our seats. The red herring in her plot is with Alex Colbourne, but we savvy viewers know better. Both have better chemistry with their horses than each other.
Sidebar Romance #3 Lady Denham (Anne Reid) and Rowleigh Pryce (James Bolam)
I won’t spend much time on this “romance.” Two aged, irascible and unlikable characters duke it out with each other. He left her at the altar when she was still nubile; she leaves him at the altar when he can still father a child and she can’t bear one. Lady Denham is based on Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Mrs Norris, and Mrs Ferrars (mother of that odious Fanny Dashwood) – all rolled into one. The “romance” ends with an agreement that they will still see each other regularly, but as little as possible.
Sidebar Romance #4 Augusta Markham (Eloise Webb) and Sir Eddy (Jack Fox)
Would anyone like to shout Lydia and Wickham and Georgiana Darcy and Wickham in Pride and Prejudice when following the trajectory of this unlikable couple? Yes, Sir Eddy at first only pretends to redeem himself to Lady D, but then he meets the attractive and intriguing Augusta Markham. He learns/knows of her fortune, woos her, twirls her susceptible cookies, AND absconds with her. Augusta is older than the very young Georgiana Darcy, and she can’t wait for Sir Eddy to hop in the sack with her. But seeing her eagerness, he suffers a sudden crisis of conscience. (Those water torture baths are finally working!) And so he rejects her. Ouch. Augusta languishes. He languishes but manages to keep a heroic stiff upper lip. Oh, dear, I think, as I awaken from my power nap, what will next happen to this hapless couple?
Romance #5 The Prince Regent Changes His Mind, and So Does his Mistress
Mature love in the form of Sophie Winkleman as Lady Susan and Liam Garrigan as Samuel Colbourne has been given an unroyal treatment. Lady Susan, taken out of mothballs from Season 1, has really no role other than to walk arm in arm with Char, look elegant and beautiful, and meet Samuel, Alexander’s brother. I must admit I was nodding off during his introduction, so I still have no idea why/how his presence was introduced into the plot. I believe, and please correct me if I am wrong (yes, this happens often) that he’s a lawyer or accountant of sorts. Lady Susan and Samuel banter in friendly exchanges at first and then experience such irresistible hots for each other that they kiss on a public beach! What if someone, like a fisherman or bather, saw them? Qu’elle horreur! After Samuel decides he’s finally found the woman of his dreams, the Prince Regent requests his former mistress’s return to London. Lady Susan, supposedly a sensible woman, plans to hie it back to her fat princely hedonist and leave the love of her life. Whaaaa?!! Samuel is bereft. She’s sad. As devotees of rom-com plots, let’s all together guess the ending! Hint: We are all correct.
Non Romantic Plot Developments:
Tom and Mary: Tom Parker (Kris Marshall) and Rowleigh Pryce unite in a common vision to build a luxury hotel in Sanditon, bulldozing anything standing in their way.
Achieving their goal means demolishing fishermen cottages that sit on a stretch of beach with a splendid view. Meanwhile, Tom’s wife Mary (Kate Ashfield) has been tending to the poor, including a fisherman’s widow who has little income for herself or her children. Much like Emma Woodhouse, Mary visits the widow frequently with baskets of food and clothes, often accompanied by Char. Mary is horrified by Tom’s plans and they engage in a major row. Tom is adamant, as is Mary.
Then (shades of Marianne Dashwood lying on her deathbed), Mary falls mysteriously ill and, you guessed it, lies on her deathbed. A grieving Tom can only recall his last harsh words towards his beloved. After much hand wringing, Dr Fuchs tells the assembled family members and friends to prepare for the worst. Then, miracle of miracles – as if Mary’s mother hastened to her bedside à la Mrs Dashwood – Mary awakens. Tom turns into a precursor of Ebenezer Scrooge after the three visits from the spirits. Chastened, he follows Mary’s advice. In short order, Tom ditches his plans for the hotel, as well as Rowleigh Pryce, and promises Mary he’ll improve the fishermen’s cottages (and his sex life, no doubt) and the cottagers’ lives.Trifecta! Mary is now hale, hearty, and happy to have her dutiful Tom under her sensible thumb again.
The last is a story line I’ve entitled: “She Loves Me, I trust Her. She Loves Me Not, I’ll Ditch Her, She Still Loves Me.” This plot involves Georgiana’s momma, her sudden appearance, and the shell necklace that proves her motherhood.
We are so lucky in this century, for DNA tests proves irrefutably to whom we are related. But during the Regency one had to rely on one’s instincts. Georgiana, one smart cookie when it comes to defending herself from fortune hunters, practically melts into the arms of a woman who appears out of the Caribbean Blue to claim the closest kinship any orphaned child could want – a mother. The proof? A shell necklace that brings Georgina to tears and conjures memories of Antigua so ancient they might not be true. (I’ve made a number of shell necklaces that look remarkably like Momma’s proof.) After a few conversations and memory prompts, Georgiana cries “Momma!” and throws herself into her arms. Lord Harry’s avaricious Momma, hellbent on making sure her son marries rich Georgiana and wanting to keep her entire fortune, finagles to bribe Georgiana’s mother with enough money to make her disappear. Ah, but love is blind and conquers all. Georgiana’s momma ditches the money and tells her daughter she is more priceless than all the gold on earth. Oh, happy reunion.
(If I’ve not mentioned that creep artist, Charles Lockhart, it was on purpose.)
After:
Major Sugar Overload
Diabetics should be warned to take their metformin or insulin before watching the treacly epilogue. The cynic in me guffawed my way through those last 10 minutes. Every major plot and most subplots were tied up neatly with pastel colored ribbons and rose colored glasses. I’m sure Jane A. rolled over in her grave once again. While we had indications that some couples in her novels reached marital nirvana (Lizzy and Darcy and Anne and her Captain, for example), most of her stories ended at the wedding. Jane hinted at some unhappy consequences. Well, hint is a weak word when we think about the character arcs she introduced in her novels. I could write an entire post about them, starting with Wickham and Lydia and Charlotte Lucas’s compromise marriage to Mr Collins to oversee her own household. (Me? I’d rather roll naked in hot tar than tolerate that man.)
At the end:
- Char marries Alex, becomes a school teacher, and has a baby.
- Georgiana, through the machinations of her mama, marries her true love, Otis Molineux.
- Lady Susan and her Samuel sit in bliss at Char’s wedding.
- Lady Denham keeps her title and fortune, and relishes bossing Mr Pryce around every other month or so.
- Augusta becomes a governess. Hahahahahah.
On and on.
- Unhappy is Char’s ex fiance, Ralph. And I still have one question – whatever happened to young Stringer?
More about Sanditon on this blog: Jane Austen’s World reviews, Seasons 1-2: https://janeaustensworld.com/category/sanditon/