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colin darcy as vampireInquiring readers,

Mr. Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange took me one month to read. For 200 pages the interminable plot seemed to twist in endless slow circles, like flotsam in the wide Sargasso Sea, before true vampyric action began. Mrs. Darcy’s (nee Bennet’s) letters, recently uncovered in a dusty attic, illuminate what actually transpired in her mind as she traveled from castle to castle during her honeymoon. Her first letter to her sister Jane can be found in the post below, or in this link. Her third letter can be read at this link. Here then, is the second of three installments. So much hoopla has surrounded this highly anticipated novel, that I felt it incumbent upon me to share all three of Lizzie’s letters.

My dearest Jane,

I must be going mad, for inexplicably I find myself living a life I would never have chosen inside a book entitled Mr. Darcy, Vampyre. First, the author, Ms Grange, has got my character wrong. Had Mr. Darcy announced before our wedding that he was planning to take me on a Grand Tour of the Continent instead of a proper honeymoon, I would have delicately persuaded him to take me to Pemberley, for it was inside that grand edifice that I expected to be fully made his bride! Instead, we have been wandering over Swiss hill and Italian dale on an aimless journey, with Mr. Darcy disappearing at the most inopportune moments. For 200 pages I have been consorting with strangers for whom I care not one whit. One even let slip that she believes she is 500 years old, at which point I heard the cuckoo clock strike thirteen times.

Jane, I am most perplexed at my husband’s continued lack of “amore”. He gives me “looks”, not of the yearning variety either, but simply “looks.” Having observed barnyard animals and their straightforward approach to reproduction, I have a good notion of where my wifely duty lies (for as we both know our parents were sadly lacking in educating us on this topic), and I know that begetting an heir requires more than merely looking. Thus I was as all prepared to shut my eyes and think of England as Mr. Darcy had his wicked way with me, but Ms. Grange has my Fitzwilliam shirking his husbandly responsibilities! In fact, I feel as if I’m trapped inside a book whose plot seems to have no point

I’ve had so much alone time on my hands that, as with Father’s study, I’ve spent hours in my husband’s Venetian library pouring over his enormous collection of books. He seems to have a strange fixation with vampyres, owning dozens of ancient, well-thumbed tomes containing vivid descriptions of immortal beings who must suck the blood of humans to survive. Does Mr. Darcy believe he is a vampyre, as the title of Ms. Grange’s book suggests? If so, is this the reason why he has been avoiding me? But of course this could not be so! For I’m as hot blooded a woman as they come, and what self-respecting vampyre could resist the rich red corpuscles pulsing through my blue veins? I have one bulging vein on my left wrist that is particularly tempting, not to mention those  that lie close to the surface of my neck. The ancient books also describe vampyres as suffering mightily from internal struggles, for they are doomed to kill those they love or turn them into vampyres, but frankly, the biggest struggle Mr. Darcy has demonstrated in this novel thus far is deciding on whether to join me for dinner  and …

Pray, is that a noise coming from the corridor? I must lay my quill aside, for perhaps it is my husband finally coming to claim my virginal self.

Mr Darcy, Vampyre coverAdieu for now! Your ever hopeful sister,

Lizzie

  • Living Girl Reads suggests that Henry Crawford, predatory male that he is, would have made a better vampyre. What think you?

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Mr Darcy, Vampyre coverInquiring reader,

Great news! I have come across some letters by Elizabeth Bennet about  Mr. Darcy, Vampyre, written by Amanda Grange
, which is coming out this month. These letters, well, critiques, really, were penned long ago and describe events that seem to have transpired in a parallel universe. I was particularly struck by how freely Elizabeth shared her thoughts with her sister Jane about her adventures with an other-worldly Mr. Darcy. I will be publishing all of Elizabeth’s critiques over the next few days. Contained herein, then, is critique, part one of Mr. Darcy, Vampyre. For those to whom this matters, spoiler alert!

My dearest Jane,

I have unaccountably awoken in the 21st century and I am writing to you out of habit, though I surmise that you must be long gone, or also living in that grey netherworld of the undead fictional character into which I have landed. I’ve just discovered that Mr. Darcy and I are the hero and heroine of a spate of books that, frankly, my dear sister, make me blush from shame. Apart from their topics (imagine us as zombie fighters and being married to vampyres), I am depicted as behaving in a manner that is so unlike myself that I fear my blood shall boil from the rise in my temper.

A recent book, which has turned my Mr. Darcy into a vampyre, has me seething in particular, for, my dear Jane, you know better than anyone that I am no namby pamby missish nebbish. In this book, the author has Mr. Darcy shunning my bed. The REAL Elizabeth Darcy née Bennet, had Mr. Darcy been guilty of such a heinous offence, would not have accepted the situation without hunting him down the corridors of their cruise ship (which is what honeymoon vessels seem to be these days) and demanding an explanation of why he was unresolved in his husbandly DUTY of BEGETTING an heir immediately. Instead, this Ms Grange has me strangely accepting the situation as if I were a zombie, which I am assuredly NOT, for has not Mr. Grahame-Smith given me the warrior skills to chop off their heads?

What particularly burns me, to use 21st century parlance, is that I take pride in my conversational ability. Sparks fly when Mr. Darcy and I converse. Even when such a mundane subject as tea comes up, double entendres abound. One may be assured that Mr. Darcy and I can easily devote hours of our lives sparring verbally and taking pleasure from these seemingly uneventful encounters. But Ms Grange has us speaking in dead and flat voices, as if we were not Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth from the brilliant mind of Jane Austen, but another couple conjured up by some other author who happened to have given us similar names.

My dear Jane, I can assure you that there is only ONE Mr. Darcy and his Elizabeth. And so, I do protest strongly. Let Miss Grange choose another couple to write about. Miss Jane Austen was the first to use us and she should be the last! Oh, I am exhausted. My blood has almost reached boiling point, and I must find a cooling bath for, unfortunately, more than one reason.

Signed,

Your wedded but unbedded sister, Lizzie.

P.S. Are you experiencing a rabid bat infestation? One almost flew through my window, but I slammed it shut before it could enter. I shudder to think what might have happened had it landed on my neck. (Now why on earth did I think that?) I shall write more about this situation tomorrow, for there is so much I must share with you about my new life that my thoughts cannot be contained within a mere few sheets of vellum.

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syrie james the secret diariesThe days when I can read a book cover to cover in one or two sittings are gone, but if I’d been able to free up such a large block of time, I would have finished Syrie James’s new book, The Secret Diaries of Charlotte Brontë, a month ago. As it was, the book became a constant companion in my briefcase. I would fish it out at opportune moments to steal a few minutes reading about Charlotte, her sisters Emily and Anne, her brother Branwell, and Arthur Nicholls, the young curate who’s been hired to help out Charlotte’s  father, Reverend Patrick Brontë, and who eventually marries her.

I’ll be the first to admit that my knowledge of the Brontë family was minimal at best. While I count Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights as among my favorite 19th century novels, I knew very little about the authors, except that Charlotte was no fan of Jane Austen’s writing style. Note that I wrote “was,” for after having finished this book I feel that I have gotten to know the Brontë clan quite well.

Syrie’s modus operandi in writing a fictional biography is to inhabit her character and take on her persona as she writes in the first person. She meticulously researches her subjects and uses original sources as much as possible. The result, in this instance, is a first person account of Charlotte Brontë in a style that is not quite Syrie’s and not quite Charlotte’s, but that is serviceable and believable. When using such a technique, one is always in danger of awkward transitions and a choppy style, but I found the story so compelling that I stopped noticing the transitions and began to read the book out of pure interest and enjoyment. The author illuminates certain facts by adding footnotes that link to the actual historical event, enhancing the richness of this reading experience. She also “shows” and doesn’t “tell”, which demonstrates her maturity as an author. Syrie’s introduction to Mr. Nicholls, the “hero” of this romance, instantly tells us something about his character without hitting us over the head with unnecessary exposition. Keeper, the mastiff at the parsonage, is an aloof and particular dog who can take a fierce dislike to strangers, yet here is his reaction to the new cleric:

“To my astonishment, the fire now instantly dissipated from Keeper’s bull-dog eyes; he descended onto all fours; and, as if a child responding to the Piper of Hamelin’s call, he trotted obediently back to the curate’s feet and calmly settled on his haunches.”

Arthur Bell Nicholls

Arthur Bell Nicholls

Syrie strikes a nice balance between the past and the present, going back in time only to illuminate details about Charlotte’s life that were the inspiration for her novels, and she keeps the flow of the story going with as much suspense as Charlotte’s life offered. I found Syrie’s description of Bramwell’s, Anne’s, and Emily’s deaths not only unutterably sad, but she also depicts a despondent Charlotte who went from living in a house filled with supportive siblings to one that was largely silent and empty in a year. For fans of biographical tales and romance, Syrie’s story of Charlotte offers it all: longing and yearning, struggle and success, the searing pain of immeasurable loss, and the happiness of a love that came unbidden and unsought. I did not want this story to end. Thankfully, the book offers an appendix filled with Charlotte’s letters, Brontë poetry, and an interview with Syrie that explains why and how she wrote the book. I also want to learn more about Charlotte and cannot wait to read Mrs. Gaskell’s account of the author’s life.

Charlotte Bronte

Charlotte Bronte

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completeworksJane Austen wrote six novels. You can almost count them on one hand. Those books, and a smattering of Juvenilia, a few uncompleted manuscripts, and a number of letters – some fragmented, most missing blocks of years – are all that we have of Jane Austen’s legacy in writing. Yet these little bits of ivory contain such a vastness of riches that one can spend a lifetime exploring them.

Not only did Jane inspire some of the best minds of her generation, but 192 years after her death her legacy still lives on, spawning imitators and sequel makers and inspiring an entire genre in literature. Her topics were circumscribed and narrow, which is the key to her timelessness. By focusing on the essential and not that which was fashionable, her writings remain fresh, relevant, and current. Jane Austen’s works are popular the world over and, observing from the number of websites, blogs, and discussion forums devoted to her on the World Wide Web, interest in her is still increasing and cuts across cultures and generations.

iheartdarcylgpride_and_prejudice_cb2(1)You haven’t truly arrived until you’ve been imitated. Like Shakepeare, Jane’s works invite hordes of copyists, with new books, movies, games, and comics based on her work and life cropping up monthly. Satirists are having as much fun with our Jane as with Shakespeare. Action figures and finger puppets abound, and famous lines are quoted with a modern twist every day. With Shakespeare it might be, “To eat, or not to eat, that is the question,” while Jane’s famous opening line morphs into, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a writer in need of a plot must steal from Jane Austen.” We quoth our Jane evermore, but, lacking her biting wit and brilliant insights, we fall short every time.

sense and sensibility and sea monstersAnd now it seems that the Jane Austen industry has descended into monster sequel and adaptation madness, regurgitating these popular culture books at an unholy rate. The new crop of Jane Austen adaptations include Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Mr. Darcy, Vampyre Slayer, Pride and Predator, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. What’s next? Emma and the Loch Ness Monster? King Kong Conquers Northanger Abbey? Mr. Bingley, Werewolf?

At least Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was sensible enough to retain 80% of Jane’s words. Currently, I am barely slogging through Mr.Darcy, Vampyre. The book purports to be about Jane Austen-named characters, but their actions, speech, and motivation have nothing to do with Pride and Prejudice. Neither can Amanda Grange’s writing hold a candle to either Jane’s spare, witty style or Anne Rice’s evocative and decadent language in her masterful first novel, Interview With the Vampire. One suspects that Source Books has rushed this vanity novel out to take advantage of the Monster and Jane Craze. And now Quirk Books has announced the publication of Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. Have you seen the trailer? Uggh. The book has retained only 60% of Jane’s words, which means it will be even more action oriented than P&P and Zombies. While thirteen year old boys are whooping for joy in anticipation of this book, we lovers of literature are scratching our heads, knowing that its publisher and author will be happily scooping up dollars at the bank. Meanwhile a more talented and original writer, unable to get a foot through that publisher’s door, will have to work at Burger King to pay the rent.
Mr Darcy, Vampyre cover
And then there are the Jane Austen and sex sequels. Last year, a sequel had Darcy and his Elizabeth making love at least 19 times in the first half of the book. I am currently awaiting two sexy sequels with a bit of trepidation, but I will be frank with you, if these two books are merely about titillation, I won’t be giving them a kind review. There’s a popular cultural reason why the American ending of Pride and Prejudice 2005 contains this scene, which our British cousins didn’t have to see. “Nuff said.

Not for me these wannabe imitators, these pale, faceless shadows of a literary genius whose sun shines so brightly that I reread her words regularly without tiring of her. Enough, I say, of this monstrous Jane Austen sequel trend.  Fun is fun, but desecration is another thing. I know many people feel that this is an innovative way to introduce young people to Jane Austen’s splendid novels. I say, let’s stop the monster madness now and introduce Jane to new readers in a more proper way.

More on this topic

  • Making light: Incorporate Electrolyte : This blogger wrote tongue in cheek about a possible sequel entitled Mary Bennet, Vampyre Slayer way back in 2007. Her plot outline is funnier than any of the current crop of books

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Ransome's HonorKaye Dacus is an author and editor who has been writing fiction for more than twenty years. A former Vice President of American Christian Fiction Writers, Kaye enjoys being an active ACFW member and the fellowship and community of hundreds of other writers from across the country and around the world that she finds there. She currently serves as President of Middle Tennessee Christian Writers, which she co-founded in 2003 with three other writers. Each month, she teaches a two-hour workshop on an aspect of the craft of writing at the MTCW monthly meeting. But her greatest joy comes from mentoring new writers through jer blog and seeing them experience those “aha” moments when a tricky concept becomes clear. In June 2006, she received her Master of Arts in Writing Popular Fiction from Seton Hill University. Her thesis novel, Happy Endings Inc., beca,e her first published novel, re-titled Stand-In Groom.Romance novels were amongst the first books Kaye Dacus read, so it was natural when she started writing as a young teen, that would be what she penned. Kaye, who lives in Nashville, Tennessee, is a Jane Austen fanatic and loves watching and discussing British costume-drama movies with friends.

1. How long have you been a writer? Correct that, how long have you wanted to be a writer and have you always wanted to write Christian romance novels?

I’ve always had a very active imagination, making up my own internal stories, complete with characters, my entire life. Around age twelve or thirteen, I wanted to be able to remember what I’d been imagining, so I started writing it down on paper. And even though I majored in English/Creative Writing in college, it wasn’t until my late 20s/early 30s that I realized I wanted to pursue publication and learned not only how to finish a novel, but the craft and skill that goes into writing one that’s going to catch a publisher’s eye.

I wouldn’t say I’ve always wanted to write “Christian” romance novels. Everything I’ve written has always had a romantic theme to it. They happen to have a spiritual worldview to them because that’s my own personal worldview. Therefore, it was logical to seek publication in the Christian publishing industry, since that’s where they fit best. But pretty much, my goal is to write stories that entertain and uplift—and that I can let my mom and my grandmother and my fourteen-year-old niece read without worrying about offending them.

2. What is a Christian romance novel exactly?

There are actually a few different levels of religious content within books that are considered “Christian”—those that are published by CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) and ECPA (Evangelical Christian Publishers Association) publishers. The first is “moral” fiction—those that are clean (no foul language, no sex on the page—it only happens behind closed doors and between married couples) but without an overt spirituality/religious flavor to them; they may not even mention God or any kind of religion at all. The next is what I write, which is “inspirational” fiction—those that are spiritual, but the characters usually start out as Christians—it’s just a normal part of their daily lives—and though there is a spiritual lesson that a character must learn in the course of the book, the spiritual theme takes a back seat to the plot of the novel. The final is “Christian” fiction, in which the spiritual theme is one of the driving forces of the story, the entire gospel message is usually verbalized by at least one character, along with sermons and Bible verses, and at least one character will “come to Jesus” in the course of the book—in fact, the entire plot may hinge on that person’s becoming saved for the story to have a satisfying conclusion.

3. You chose Portsmouth as the setting for Ransome’s Honor. Describe your process of deciding on a setting and how long you research a book before actually beginning to write.

I chose Portsmouth as the setting for Ransome’s Honor because it was the home of the Royal Navy, and it’s the city that my initial research pointed toward as being a logical place for the story to happen—a city where naval officers would be in abundance in 1814. My research process is a little different, because the idea for the story stemmed from two distinct arenas—my literary criticism thesis as an undergraduate and falling in love with a particular character in the Horatio Hornblower movies/books.

My senior year of college (when I had gone back to complete my degree as an adult learner), I wrote my lit-crit thesis on the topic of “Wealth and Social Status as a Theme in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.” Jane Austen is my favorite author, and while Persuasion is my favorite of the six major novels, background information and critical essays on P&P were much easier to come by. So through writing that thesis, much of my research on the era—on the social norms, on the lifestyle, on the economics (both public and private)—was already done. But doing the research for that paper put so many good resources into my hands that delve into so many other aspects of the era, and I read most of those for pleasure. Then, A&E aired the final two Hornblower films (Loyalty and Duty) released. I’d never seen any of the others, but as soon as I watched those, I was in love . . . not with Horatio Hornblower, because I almost never fall for the hero. No, it was Lt. William Bush, the side kick, who caught my eye. Which led me to the books. And because Persuasion is my favorite JA novel, and because Frederick Wentworth is my favorite of all the Austen heroes, I naturally started dreaming of a Royal Navy captain as a hero for a book of my own. Because I started the story somewhat on a whim my second year of graduate school (when I was in heavy revisions on my contemporary romance novel, Stand-In Groom), I didn’t do a lot of heavy research at the beginning. But when I realized the story had teeth and might actually go somewhere, that’s when I started really diving into the research on the Royal Navy and its ships and officers. And I knew it was the right era for me to write about—because the more I learned, the more I wanted to know and pass along to others in the form of a fictional, romantic story.

4. This is a trilogy. Did you plot out the three books before you embarked on Ransome’s Honor?

When I first started writing the story, I thought it would be a single book. But then, the further I got into it, and the more interested I became in the era as well as the characters I was developing, the more I realized there was way too much story for just one book. And a two-book series, believe it or not, is a harder sell than a three-book series. But I had to be sure I would have enough story to support a trilogy, so I sat down and just started brainstorming the whole thing out. The middle book of the three (the one I’m writing right now) scares me the most, because it’s all about following up on the consequences of things that happen in the first book and setting up what’s going to happen in the final book—while still giving a complete, satisfying story in and of itself. I started the book three times (writing/rewriting six to ten chapters each time) until I hit on the right opening and the right pacing for the story.

I am a loose-plotter when it comes to writing. I have to know where I’m going, and what my key, pivotal conflict and action scenes will be. But when it comes to the rest of the story—everything that fills in between those scenes—I’m very much a “seat of the pants” writer. I listen to what my characters want to tell me and let them drive the narrative. (Yes, it’s true about authors and the “voices” in our heads!).

kaye Dacus5.  I see in your publicity that you were inspired by Jane Austen and Horatio Hornblower. If a movie were to be made of your book, who would play the major characters?

Originally, the character of Captain William Ransome was based on the Real World Template of Paul McGann in the role of William Bush in the Hornblower films. But since my William is only supposed to be in his 30s, I could see Jack Davenport in that role. The character of Julia is based on the RWT of Anna Friel, especially with the way she looks in the movie St. Ives. Charlotte, in looks alone (because I’m not really fond of her as an actress) is based on Natalie Portman. And Sir Drake is based on Adrian Paul, though I believe that Blake Ritson or Jude Law might make an acceptable alternative, since Adrian isn’t as young as he was in his Highlander days, which is how I was picturing him as I wrote. And of course, Admiral Sir Edward Witherington is none other than the inimitable Sir Robert Lindsay from the Hornblower and Jericho films.

Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions, Kaye, and good luck on the success of your book. I look forward to your second installment of the trilogy.

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