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« Mr. Darcy, Vampyre, by Amanda Grange: A Review, Part One
Mr. Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange: A Review, Part 3 »

Mr. Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange: A Review, Part Two

August 8, 2009 by Vic

colin darcy as vampireInquiring readers,

Mr. Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange took me one month to read. For 200 pages the interminable plot seemed to twist in endless slow circles, like flotsam in the wide Sargasso Sea, before true vampyric action began. Mrs. Darcy’s (nee Bennet’s) letters, recently uncovered in a dusty attic, illuminate what actually transpired in her mind as she traveled from castle to castle during her honeymoon. Her first letter to her sister Jane can be found in the post below, or in this link. Her third letter can be read at this link. Here then, is the second of three installments. So much hoopla has surrounded this highly anticipated novel, that I felt it incumbent upon me to share all three of Lizzie’s letters.

My dearest Jane,

I must be going mad, for inexplicably I find myself living a life I would never have chosen inside a book entitled Mr. Darcy, Vampyre. First, the author, Ms Grange, has got my character wrong. Had Mr. Darcy announced before our wedding that he was planning to take me on a Grand Tour of the Continent instead of a proper honeymoon, I would have delicately persuaded him to take me to Pemberley, for it was inside that grand edifice that I expected to be fully made his bride! Instead, we have been wandering over Swiss hill and Italian dale on an aimless journey, with Mr. Darcy disappearing at the most inopportune moments. For 200 pages I have been consorting with strangers for whom I care not one whit. One even let slip that she believes she is 500 years old, at which point I heard the cuckoo clock strike thirteen times.

Jane, I am most perplexed at my husband’s continued lack of “amore”. He gives me “looks”, not of the yearning variety either, but simply “looks.” Having observed barnyard animals and their straightforward approach to reproduction, I have a good notion of where my wifely duty lies (for as we both know our parents were sadly lacking in educating us on this topic), and I know that begetting an heir requires more than merely looking. Thus I was as all prepared to shut my eyes and think of England as Mr. Darcy had his wicked way with me, but Ms. Grange has my Fitzwilliam shirking his husbandly responsibilities! In fact, I feel as if I’m trapped inside a book whose plot seems to have no point

I’ve had so much alone time on my hands that, as with Father’s study, I’ve spent hours in my husband’s Venetian library pouring over his enormous collection of books. He seems to have a strange fixation with vampyres, owning dozens of ancient, well-thumbed tomes containing vivid descriptions of immortal beings who must suck the blood of humans to survive. Does Mr. Darcy believe he is a vampyre, as the title of Ms. Grange’s book suggests? If so, is this the reason why he has been avoiding me? But of course this could not be so! For I’m as hot blooded a woman as they come, and what self-respecting vampyre could resist the rich red corpuscles pulsing through my blue veins? I have one bulging vein on my left wrist that is particularly tempting, not to mention those  that lie close to the surface of my neck. The ancient books also describe vampyres as suffering mightily from internal struggles, for they are doomed to kill those they love or turn them into vampyres, but frankly, the biggest struggle Mr. Darcy has demonstrated in this novel thus far is deciding on whether to join me for dinner  and …

Pray, is that a noise coming from the corridor? I must lay my quill aside, for perhaps it is my husband finally coming to claim my virginal self.

Mr Darcy, Vampyre coverAdieu for now! Your ever hopeful sister,

Lizzie

  • Living Girl Reads suggests that Henry Crawford, predatory male that he is, would have made a better vampyre. What think you?
  • If this review has sparked your interest in the book, you can order it at this link at Sourcebooks, Inc.

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Posted in Austenesque novels, Book review, Popular culture, Regency Life | Tagged Amanda Grange, Mr. Darcy Vampyre, Vampire books | 13 Comments

13 Responses

  1. on August 8, 2009 at 14:58 Laurel Ann

    You have surpassed yourself Vic!

    I know that begetting an heir requires more than merely looking. Thus I was as all prepared to shut my eyes and think of England as Mr. Darcy had his wicked way with me

    LOL!


  2. on August 8, 2009 at 17:13 Melanie

    I don’t know whether I’ll read this book or not. Vampyres have been everywhere lately. Was it good for any laughs?


  3. on August 8, 2009 at 17:19 Vic

    No laughs, that is one of the problems. Too serious a treatment of the genre to have a good time.


  4. on August 9, 2009 at 07:00 Enid Wilson

    Is Amanda’s writing always this serious? Or just in this novel? I confess I haven’t read her previous books before.

    Bargain with the Devil


  5. on August 9, 2009 at 10:09 Vic

    I’ve read only one other of her books, Mr. Knightley’d Diary, which was a seriously faithful recount of Emma from his point of view. I gave that book an ok review.


  6. on August 9, 2009 at 11:58 Mr. Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange: A Review, Part 3 « Jane Austen’s World

    […] Part Two here. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Mr Darcy, Vampyre, by Amanda Grange: A Review, Part TwoMr. Darcy, Vampyre, by Amanda Grange: Review, Part OneLost in Austen, Episode Three Review: Miss […]


  7. on August 9, 2009 at 12:02 Mr. Darcy, Vampyre, by Amanda Grange: A Review, Part One « Jane Austen’s World

    […] For Lizzie Letter Review Part Two, click here […]


  8. on August 9, 2009 at 14:09 Mr. Darcy, Vampyre, by Amanda Grange – A Review « Austenprose

    […]  Jane Austen’s World – Part Two  […]


  9. on October 6, 2009 at 00:24 Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters: A Review « Jane Austen’s World

    […] Review of Mr. Darcy Vampyre, Part Two […]


  10. on November 25, 2009 at 17:59 velvet

    Ah, poor Lizzy. What has she got herself into?
    Vic, you’re capturing the book well here.


  11. on April 12, 2010 at 08:57 Mansfield Park and Mummies, Interview with Author Vera Nazarian « Jane Austen's World

    […] Mr. Darcy Vampyre, Review Part Two […]


  12. on May 20, 2010 at 14:04 Mr. Darcy, Vampyre « Ardent Reader

    […] Austen World — part 1, part 2, part […]


  13. on October 10, 2010 at 08:45 Emma and the Vampires by Jane Austen and Wayne Jospehson: A review « Jane Austen's World

    […] late in reviewing this Jane Austen undead novel, which came out in August. My initial reaction to Emma and the Vampires was “Meh!” and “Oh, no, not another one of those deadfuls.” But as I read Wayne […]



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