Dowager Viscountess Dalrymple makes an appearance with Sir Walter Elliot. Brock illustration.
“The Bath paper one morning announced the arrival of the Dowager Viscountess Dalrymple, and her daughter, the Honourable Miss Carteret. . . ” – Jane Austen, Persuasion
I have often wondered about dowagers and their status in Regency society in relation to widows. When did a widow become a dowager? Did all 19th century widows acquire the title? Why or why not?
Mirriam Webster Dictionary provides an answer : “Dowager – The widow of a peer, eg the Dowager Countess of Somewhere. The term was not added to a woman’s title unless and until the new holder of the title married.” The definition contains the clue. Until the new heir married, an aristocratic widow retained the title she acquired on the day of her own wedding.
Widows were legally entitled to a dower share or a third of the value of her husband’s estate after his death, for under the law of primogeniture he was the only real property owner. Dower rights meant that she would benefit for the rest of her life from a third of the income produced by a farm or from rental property on his estate:
“Under English common law and in colonial America, dower was the share of a deceased husband’s real estate to which his widow was entitled after his death. After the widow’s death, the real estate was then inherited as designated in her deceased husband’s will; she had no rights to sell or bequeath the property independently. She did have rights to income from the dower during her lifetime, including rents and including income from crops grown on the land.
One-third was the share of her late husband’s real property to which dower rights entitled her; the husband could increase the share beyond one-third in his will.
Where a mortgage or other debts offset the value of real estate and other property at the husband’s death, dower rights meant that the estate could not be settled and the property could not be sold until the widow’s death.” Women’s History
Dowager Maud, Lady Holland (Dame Eileen Atkins) and Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham (Dame Maggie Smith) were able to live comfortably on 1/3 of the income of their husbands' estates.
Violet, the Dowager Countess of Grantham in Downton Abbey, would actively assume the title of dowager upon her son’s marriage so that there would be no confusion of having two Countesses of Grantham in the same room. But she did not always go by that title. Generally speaking the dowager would be known by the simplest title when encountered alone. Therefore, Violet would be referred to as the Countess of Grantham unless she attended the same event as her daughter -in-law. In that case, she would be referred to as the dowager countess.
Cora, Countess of Grantham
Upon the heir’s marriage, it was expected that the dowager would move from the estate into a house of her own to guarantee a smooth transition of power. This was not always the case. As Amanda Vickery made clear in her fascinating book, Behind Closed Doors: At Home in Georgian England, some brides needed to summon a great deal of patience and cunning when their mamas-in-law dragged their heels in moving to the dower house. In real life, the Dowager Duchess of Leinster chose to live at Number 14 Harley Street in London. She would leave town occasionally to stay in her cottage in Wimbledon. Eleanor Percy, the Dowager Duchess of Northumberland, was the childless widow of the 4th Duke. The dowager moved into Stanwick Park following her husband’s death in 1865, and after the 5th Duke had moved into Alnwick Castle, the ducal estate. Eleanor lived a productive life at Stanwick Park, creating elaborate gardens and cultivating fruits and flowers. Sadly, Stanwick Hall no longer stands today due to lack of fortune. – Stanwick Hall: England’s Lost Country Houses
Susan Fleetwood as Lady Russell in Persuasion
Widowhood could emancipate a woman or lead her to poverty, depending on the income she derived from her dower rights and her dowry, which was the money and goods that a bride’s father had negotiated for her upon her marriage. Take Lady Russell from Persuasion. She did not remarry again from choice. Her independent life, free from money worries, was so improved without the presence of a husband who could dictate her every move and who would have control over her possessions that she would be a fool to remarry unless she fell head over heels in love. In that event she would lose her first husband’s income as stipulated by dower rights, although she would retain her dowry and any property she received through her mother.
Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters await the arrival of her replacement as mistress of Norland.
In contrast to Lady Russell’s situation, Mrs. Dashwood’s circumstances in Sense and Sensibility were instantly reduced due to the stipulations of the estate her husband was overseeing, which decreed the inheritance would go directly to the son, regardless of how much Mr. Dashwood desired to make provisions for his second wife and daughters. This is why on his deathbed he tried to extract a promise from John Dashwood, for Mr. Dashwood had not lived long enough to save money from the income of the estate for his second family. Due to Fanny’s stinginess, Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters are left to live on the modest income from her dowry (which was barely enough to keep them comfortable) and the beautiful items that she had brought into her marriage (which she retained as her own, much to Fanny Dashwood’s chagrin).
An elopement to Gretna Green was a most foolhardy and risky step for a young heiress
The dowry was one of the reasons that it was more than foolhardy for a young woman of fortune to elope to Gretna Green. Upon marriage all her worldly goods were legally handed over to her husband. An unscrupulous man could spend every single one of her pennies – except the amount that her father had settled upon her. A young woman who eloped had no such protection, for her family, caught unawares, would not have had the time to provide for her personal welfare. Her husband could go through her fortune (and his) with impunity, leaving her penniless and without recourse after his death.
Jane Austen's World 
I’m curious….is there ever a situation where a dowager of the peerage could be left without a means for her personal livliehood?
Very informative! I so enjoy all the information shared on this site.
A small correction…Cora would not be “Lady Cora” as she was not born the daughter of a duke, earl, or marquess. Her title would be “Cora, Countess of Grantham” or “Lady Grantham”. I’m not sure if we know if Violet was entitled to “Lady” before her first name either.
Ruth, you are absolutely right. She would be known as Lady Grantham. Thanks for the clarification!
What a fascinating and indepth post, Vic! I’ve never researched the matter of dowagers before, so I was quite captivated by it all. :D
It really makes us appreciate how far women have come in the struggle to gain independence from our husbands/fathers.
To think that widows were some of the happiest women of all, provided their combined incomes allowed them to live comfortably.
I suppose in a society where women married for convenience, rather than for love, becoming a widow wasn’t necessarily a sorrowful event. ;)
The widow of a man of property became a dowager at the same minute she became a widow. However, the ladies hated being called Dowager and put it off as long as possible. I don’t know why they hated the word so much because it was seldom used to their faces. Each dowager was called by her title when speaking to people . If the new peer was married, she had to be distinquished from his wife on written material and when both were present at some event.
Widows could only take dower on property the husband owned . Also,if he left her any sum in his will or paid her a jointure she couldn’t claim dower.
The widow had to make application to the sheriff to get her lands turned over to her.
The customs of Kent had some quirks .
Exactly. Especially when the heir is already married. She would assume the title of Dowager to prevent the confusion, but, as you say, relunctantly.
I did not know this fact: “Also,if he left her any sum in his will or paid her a jointure she couldn’t claim dower.” Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
I always thought that “Dowager” meant old, as in the “old, dowager Countess of slumberland!” And, who wants to be known as old.
I really enjoyed the information. I find the whole concept fascinating. The power and control – who had it and who didn’t, and when that changed.
I have really wondered about this topic for some time. This was quite informative. Thanks!
Thank you for this fascinating post!
Your reference to Violet, Lady Grantham, to illustrate the use of the title, “Dowager”, reminded me that there was an interesting article in the 9/11 issue of The New York Times Magazine, which is sure to whet the appetite of those who are relishing watching the second season of Downton Abbey!
Mark it on your calendar: January 8, 2012…
Fascinating post! Thanks!
‘dowager, n. Etym: < Old French douagere , . .
a. A woman whose husband is dead and who is in the enjoyment of some title or some property that has come to her from him. Often added to the title so enjoyed, as princess-dowager, . . etc. (App. first used of Mary Tudor, widow of Louis XII; then of Catherine of Arragon, styled ‘Princess Dowager’.)
. . 1530 J. Palsgrave Lesclarcissement Ep. to Hen. VIII, Your‥most entirely beloved suster quene Mary douagier of France.
. . 1867 E. A. Freeman Hist. Norman Conquest (1876) I. vi. 411 A marriage with their dowager aunt.
b. Loosely used. (In Drayton, app. = ‘lady holding in dower’.) Obs.
c. famil. An elderly lady of dignified demeanour.
1870 Dickens Edwin Drood iii. 17 Like the legendary ghost of a Dowager in silken skirts.’
‘dower, n.2
1. The portion of a deceased husband's estate which the law allows to his widow for her life. tenant in dower, the widow who thus holds land. †lady of dower, dowager lady.
. . 1470–85 Malory Morte d'Arthur v. xii, The kyng‥assigned certayn rentes for the dower of the duchesse & for her children.
. . 1767 W. Blackstone Comm. Laws Eng. II. vii. 116 The wife of the tenant in tail shall have her dower, or thirds, of the estate-tail.
2. a. The money or property which the wife brings to the husband; = dowry n. 2.
. . 1548 Hall's Vnion: Henry VIII f. clxxij, He offereth to take to wife, Elianor Quene Dowager of Portyngall, without any dower, yea, in hir kirtell.’ [OED]
How would you address the widow of an untitled man, say Mr Thompson. Assuming his son the new Mr Thompson is married his wife would be known as Mrs Thompson. So how do you address his widowed mother, particularly when both Mrs Thompsons are present?
‘Mrs’ is a ‘style’ not a ‘title’; so they are both known as ‘Mrs T’; in conversation with a 3rd party they are ‘Mrs T Sr’ and ‘Mrs T Jr’ – or, no doubt. ‘Old Mrs T’ and ‘young Mrs T’. Emma, the wife of Mr T Jr’s younger brother, Jack, is ‘Mrs Jack T’ but never ‘Mrs Emma T’.
I’m curious, can there be 2 Dowagers for one estate? For example, I was just watching Downton Abbey and Violet and Cora were in the same room. I thought, what if the eldest daughter married cousin Matthew (I’m only on season 1, so I don;t know if they ever get together), then Lord Grantham died, wouldn’t that make both Violet and Cora Dowagers?
No, indeed neither would be the Dowager. To be the Dowager, the widow must be both (1) widow of the peerage holder, ie, the lord, and (2) ancestor usually mother or grandmother of the next peerage holder. She would simply be Violet, Countess of Grantham (instead of The Countess of Grantham, or The Dowager Countess of Grantham), and if she outlived her descendant and the title went to a cousin, she would no longer be the Dowager. So, if Matthew became Earl, neither Violet nor Cora would be Dowager, simply known as Violet, Countess of Grantham, and Cora, Countess of Grantham, whereas Mary would be known as The Countess of Grantham.
Thanks for making this clear! It’s good to know that there are still people about who understand these matters and care about them. This makes clear that ‘Countess of G’ is a title which more than one person may have simultaneously whereas at any instant only one person is ‘THE Countess of G’.
However the OED’s definition and examples allow a looser use:
‘1. a. A woman whose husband is dead and who is in the enjoyment of some title or some property that has come to her from him. Often added to the title so enjoyed, as princess-dowager, . . etc. App. first used of Mary Tudor, widow of Louis XII . .
1530 J. Palsgrave Lesclarcissement Ep. to Hen. VIII, Your..most entirely beloved suster quene Mary douagier of France.
. 1600 Shakespeare Midsummer Night’s Dream i. i. 157, I haue a widowe aunt, a dowager, Of great reuenew.
1623 Shakespeare & J. Fletcher Henry VIII ii. iv. 177 Respecting this our Marriage with the Dowager Sometimes our Brothers Wife.
. . 1704 Clarendon’s Hist. Rebellion III. xiii. 355 The two Dowagers, his Mother and Grandmother, having great Joyntures out of the Estate.
. . 1809 Naval Chron. 22 276 Mrs. Innes, Dowager, of Sandside.
1867 E. A. Freeman Hist. Norman Conquest (1876) I. vi. 411 A marriage with their dowager aunt.
. . c. famil. An elderly lady of dignified demeanour.
. . 1881 ‘Rita’ My Lady Coquette v, Anxious dowagers are giving longing glances at the provision-basket.
. . d. transf. and fig. Of men or animals.
1819 Metropolis (ed. 2) III. 71 Our..dowager generals, those who, from old men are scarcely better than old women . . ‘