Inquiring readers: While I meant to write a post about muslin caps, my thoughts went in quite a different direction. My lovely mom just celebrated her 93rd birthday and she and Jane Austen have been much on my mind lately.
Jane Austen, painted by her sister Cassandra
Ladies during Jane Austen’s time were as thrifty and resourceful as my great aunts and great grandmother were in repurposing their clothes and fabrics. My mother, who endured first-hand the horrors of World War II, (one grandfather and two uncles died in a Japanese concentration camp), and subsequent years of poverty as an exile from her home country, is as thrifty as Jane’s mother, Cassandra, ever was – saving every button and piece of scrap, be it paper or cloth, recycling and repurposing clothes, darning woolen socks and stockings, knitting and sewing with scraps, and making ends meet until the fabric could be used only as a rag for cleaning. (Even then, that rag was used until its very useful end.)
Mom in the early 50s.
I recall my single mom during my childhood in The Netherlands, tired after a day’s work, bent over her knitting and sewing in the evening, making sure that my brother and I were properly clothed. Oh, how I envied my cousin in California, who wore a variety of beautiful bespoke clothes! My sweaters were reworked from old yarn and I recall feeling self-conscious and, well, second-hand, compared to my dazzling relative.
These days I revere my mother for her fortitude in facing a multitude of challenges with an unwavering eye towards the future. Since those hard times, she has led a blessed life and bestowed on my brother and me the love and strength of family and a perfect father who adopted us and loved us as if we were his own. As a family, we’ve led the charmed life of successful immigrants in the U.S. and will always be grateful for the opportunity this country gave us.
Lately I have come to realize that I am an avid Jane Austen fan because of my mother’s example. One Christmas when I was 14, my mom gave me a copy of Pride and Prejudice and I fell instantly in love with Elizabeth Bennet and her creator. Not only did Mom introduce me to Jane Austen, but I was inspired by how my mother’s life’s struggles and sense of humor in so many ways echoed Jane’s.
Jane’s life as a spinster in an age when spinsterhood meant real hardship and worry for women of her class echoed Mom’s struggle as a divorcee in an age when divorce was unacceptable. Jane’s peripatetic wanderings after her dear father died reminds me of Mom’s constant search for a safe and affordable place to live. Mom moved us so much, across three continents every few years, that people mistook us for army brats. Jane’s constant worry over money and her courage in pursuing her craft and honing her talent remind me of my mother, who had the temerity to leave my biological father in favor of a better life and to pursue, single-mindedly, a goal that her friends and relatives felt was impossible for a single mother without a high school education to realize. They tried to dissuade her from what they considered an unreachable goal – one that we as a family surpassed beyond, as Mom states to this day, “our wildest dreams.”
Could Jane Austen have described her posthumous fame any better?
Ever the optimist, Mom bucked the system alone (afraid but with nothing to lose). She has a native intelligence and an eye for human nature – a gentle eye filled with humor. We always laughed – at the table, in the car, at and with others. Her second husband, my real father, had the dry sarcastic wit of Mr. Bennet, but Mom was/is raucously funny and insightful. People from all walks of life are attracted to her bright, sunny, and somewhat irreverent disposition. And, so, through her, I was introduced to the panoply of human kind – to the sort of characters who inhabit Jane Austen’s novels – to the many foibles Miss Austen understood and described in her novels and which I instantly recognized, even at 14. Dad was Mr. Bennet, but Mom was Jane Austen.
When my ex left our 26-year marriage, accusing me, among other things, of being “just like your mother,” he did not realize how honored I felt at hearing a comment that was meant to be a stinging barb. Frankly, I wish I were more like my mom. For now, I’ll just worship her and Jane Austen and count myself lucky for knowing both, one intimately and one at a distance.
One last comparison to Jane Austen I must mention is my mom’s faith, which imbues her life. While we know of at least 3 prayers Jane wrote, we also can divine, given she was a minister’s daughter and a woman of her time, that her faith was extremely important to her and quite personal in nature…just like my mother’s.
Mom today surrounded by her grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Jane Austen's World 
What a beautiful tribute to your mom!
denise
Thank you, Denise. Yesterday was Mom’s birthday. She’s still wise and funny, but slowing down.
Vic, lovely tribute to your mom. My mother also dealt with being a single parent, raising three boys alone (never did remarry). Sadly, the hardships worked a hardship on her spirit, but much of the strength I have found in going through life came from her example.
Single mothers, one can only imagine their day to day challenges to keep the family going. Not that it isn’t hard on single fathers, but, let’s face it, most mothers retain custody of their children and rarely make the same salaries as their male counterparts. Thanks for visiting.
What a wonderful encomium to your mom! May she have a splendid birthday!
She did! I made her favorite Dutch foods, which included Indonesian rijstafel, which she adores. Thank you for visiting.
What a lovely post and photo. Your mother now has my admiration as well.
Thank you for your kind comment.
You have been blessed to have such a great role mother as your mother! I can certainly see the comparison to Jane Austen. My mother also reused things until they were rags.
Darlene, our moms are our treasures. Mine had a difficult life, but she gave me strength. Don’t we love their thrifty ways?
A lovely, moving piece – enjoyed it very much!
Thank you, Diana. Coming from you, your statement means everything.
What a beautiful tribute to your mother. Thank You for sharing this loving story.My mother passed at the age of 99.almost 100. There is nothing like a great and loving mother. Happy Belated Birthday to your mom. Wishing her a year of happiness and blessings. May she have many more birthdays. God Bless.
Marilyn
Even with her reaching 100, I would count those years with my mom as not enough. You were so blessed, but you must miss her terribly. I cherish every day I have with Mom and will dread the day without her. Thank you for your comment.
A wonderful mother and a beautiful tribute to her.
Thank you so much!
A very moving tribute to your mother!
Ron
Your comment gladdens my heart. Thank you.
What a lovely tribute to your courageous and determined mother! I feel like I know her through your moving story of your family’s life journey.
Congratulations to a beautiful lady!
Mom would be aghast if she knew I had written this post, but she would smile at your comment.
Oh, Vic…you made me cry. What a wonderful tribute to your dear mom! She reminds me just a bit of my mom and grandmother. Grandma was an immigrant from Italy, divorced by my grandfather when she had 4 small children. She went on to own her own restaurant and had that tough spirit your mom has. My mother inherited that and so did I. And your ex was a jerk not to recognize your mother’s merits and yours as well. Your mom sounds like a treasure, indeed!!
Adored the story of your mom.
How beautiful! Just how I feel about my Mom–she, too, had Jane Austin’s insight of people’s foibles and sometimes we would laugh so hard together we would both have tears rolling down our cheeks. Thanks for your touching tribute to your Mother.
Congratulations to your mom! Your post is a lovely tribute to her and Jane.
Happy Birthday to your lovely mom! My mother passed away nearly thirty years ago and I miss her dreadfully. She was a high school English teacher who loved and admired Jane Austin and passed that love onto me. Your mother is a great example of strength and endurance through hard times, much like Jane Austin’s heroines. May she enjoy many more years!
Enjoyed this very much. Sometimes, to our regret, we don’t realize the gifts our parents gave us until it’s too late. You’re lucky you can still share with your mother.
Good one Vic.Tony
Such beautiful words! I just spent a few days with my mother who is of the same generation and even though she lost my daddy through death many years ago and also my brother and a great-grandchild, she refuses to sink into sadness at these losses or her declining health. Her faith in God is also deep and she focuses on all that she has. Consequently, she is such a joy to be with and is a blessing to all her know her. So grateful to still have her. I want to be just like her when I grow up!
Vic, what a beautiful, beautiful post! I loved reading about your indomitable mother. And your response to your ex’s accusation that you’re just like your mother was priceless.
en français pour témoigner de la distance bien réelle et de mon intérêt pour ce beau portrait et hommage . GHV
what a lovely post! xx
This is beautiful, Vic!!
Dear Vic: Thank you for this touching portrait of your mother–she has the great happiness of looking back on a life well lived. Of course, it made me think of my own mom who is gone now. She was gentle soul and an avid reader who introduced me to both Austen and Georgette Heyer.