Archive for the ‘Aging in Jane Austen’ Category

Growing Older with Jane Austen by Maggie Lane: Review and Highlights by Brenda S. Cox

“Me! a poor, helpless, forlorn widow, unfit for anything, my spirits quite broke down . . .”—Mrs. Norris, Mansfield Park, chapter 3

“That Lady Russell, of steady age and character, and extremely well provided for, should have no thought of a second marriage, needs no apology to the public, which is rather apt to be unreasonably discontented when a woman does marry again, than when she does not; but Sir Walter’s continuing in singleness requires explanation.”—Persuasion, chapter 1

Last month we began looking at older characters in Jane Austen’s novels, drawing from Maggie Lane’s fascinating book, Growing Older with Jane Austen. We saw the importance of beauty in making matches, and the position of women as wives and mothers, or as single “old maids.” 

Next, Lane turns to older men, in the chapter:

Still a Very Fine Man (chapter 6)

With the exception of Sir Walter Elliot, the older men in Austen are less concerned about their appearances. But they are more likely to want to remarry than the older women. This is because men generally contribute financially to the marriage. If women are lucky, money may pass into their hands when they are widowed and they can be independent.

For the men, though, they depend on women for housekeeping, and they are uncomfortable without a female relative caring for them and their households. Younger men like Henry Tilney or Colonel Brandon, expecting to marry, may be happy with a paid housekeeper for the time being. But older men like the Dashwoods’ great-uncle want a female relative to care for them. So those young enough to remarry, like Mr. Weston and Mr. Dashwood (Elinor’s father), are likely to find a second wife, and in Austen’s novels they find happiness.

Sir Walter Elliot wanted to remarry, but failed. He probably proposed to women much younger than himself, with his eye for beauty. They were not interested in a “foolish, spendthrift baronet.” Instead, he depends on his daughter Elizabeth, who is very much like himself. Unfortunately she does not balance him, “promot[ing] his real respectability,” as his wife had.

Vain and foolish, Sir Walter Elliot failed to find a second wife who would accept him.
C.E. Brock, public domain

Mr. Woodhouse, of course, also depends on his daughter Emma, and she carefully fulfills her duty to him. He is at least loving, though selfish. In contrast, General Tilney bosses his daughter around harshly and keeps control of his household in his own hands.

Austen presents some happy marriages of older men. “Older men have usually settled down to an accommodation with their wives, and Austen presents many portraits of ageing couples who seem well-knit together: the Shirleys, the senior Musgroves, and the Morlands, for example” (Lane, 109). Even Sir Thomas Bertram and Mr. Allen are always courteous to their rather foolish wives.

Merry Widows (chapter 7)

The next three chapters explore the varying possibilities for widows. Lane says, “The conventional ‘merry widow’ of literature is an unprincipled predator with a voracious sexual appetite and a carefree disregard of conventional morals” (122). The only widow like that in Austen is, of course, Lady Susan Vernon (of Lady Susan), whom Lane discusses at length.

Another widow in Austen who follows a different contemporary stereotype is Mrs. Turner of The Watsons. She is taken in by a fortune-hunting Irish officer; she marries him and leaves her niece penniless.

Other widows in Austen’s novels, like Mrs. Jennings and Lady Russell, have a comfortable income and seem content to remain unmarried. Austen makes an interesting remark about double standards when she says of Lady Russell that “the public . . . is rather apt to be unreasonably discontented when a woman does marry again, than when she does not.” Lane explains that if a woman doesn’t need to remarry for money or a home (as Lady Susan does), she is “giving proof of continuing sexual desires.” A man, though, was expected to have continuing sexual desires, and “if he lost one wife, he was thought to be doing a good thing in seeking another—and in giving another single woman the chance to be wed” (Lane, 132).

In her letters, though, Austen commended a woman, Lady Sondes, who was being criticized for marrying again (and apparently had not married for love the first time). Jane writes, “I consider everybody as having a right to marry once in their Lives for Love, if they can” (Letters, Dec. 27, 1808).

Mrs. Ferrars of Sense and Sensibility is a despot over her family. She controls the money and wants to control their lives.
C. E. Brock, public domain

Four Dowager Despots (chapter 8)

Not all of Jane Austen’s widows are as loving as Mrs. Jennings and Lady Russell. While power was usually held by men in Austen’s world, Austen gives us four rich widows who tyrannize others. (Think for a minute; who are they?) Mrs. Ferrars of S&S, Lady Catherine de Bourgh of P&P, Lady Denham of Sanditon, and Mrs. Norris of Mansfield Park. (Mrs. Norris doesn’t have a lot of her own money, but exercises authority on behalf of her “supine sister and absent brother-in-law.”)

Lane writes, “Only Lady Denham is a true dowager, the strict definition of which is a woman whose income derives by legal pre-arrangement from her late husband’s estate, the estate [and title, if there is one] having passed on his death to his heir” (136). Lady Catherine and Mrs. Ferrars appear to completely control their late husbands’ fortunes. But all of them show “a mixture of self-importance and interference in others’ lives” (Lane, 137). Lady Catherine, in particular, controls her whole parish, and it appears that Lady Denham also has great influence in Sanditon.

Lane contrasts two older women in Sense and Sensibility: the manipulative Mrs. Ferrars, who uses money to control her sons, and Mrs. Smith, who controls Willoughby financially. “The telling difference between Mrs. Ferrars and Mrs. Smith is that the latter only wants her young relation to be good, not rich or distinguished” (Lane, 142). Mrs. Smith was likely an elderly maiden lady, of “uncompromising propriety,” who was given the honorary title of “Mrs.” Her motivations are better than Mrs. Ferrars’s selfishness.

Not the Only Widow in Bath (chapter 9)

Another dowager, Mrs. Rushworth, is not a despot as far as we know. When her son marries, she retires, “with true dowager propriety,” to Bath, ready to boast of Sotherton during her evening parties. While Mrs. Elton tries to convince Emma to go to Bath to find a husband, many older people went for other reasons. People like Austen’s parents moved to Bath for “freedom from the cares of a country property and housekeeping; company on tap; and easy access to medical attention as well as to shops, libraries, concerts, and plays” (Lane, 157). (Sounds good to me; I wish I could afford to retire to Bath!)

No longer a place of high fashion, Bath now appealed to “the kind of people Jane Austen knew and wrote about: the minor gentry with a taste for social life and the means to indulge their real or imagined illnesses; the less well-off, especially single women, desperately clinging to their shreds of gentility in a place where living was comparatively cheap; well-funded widows and retired professional men with their families . . . and . . . a motley assortment of hangers-on and would-be social climbers” (Lane, 157-8).

Sir Walter Elliot, a widower, goes there to “be important at comparatively little expense.” Lady Russell, a widow, spends every winter there, “finding mental refreshment in meeting up with old friends and getting all the new publications.” Widowed Mrs. Thorpe of Northanger Abbey goes to find husbands for her daughters. Impoverished invalids like Mrs. Smith of Persuasion go for medical care, while a similar widow, Mrs. Clay, is looking to marry again.

Widowed Mrs. Smith of Persuasion goes to Bath for her health.
C.E. Brock, public domain

Because of changes in Bath, in Austen’s later novels, “Bath appears not as the place of fun and frivolity it is in Northanger Abbey, but increasingly the choice of the old and dreary. . . . Austen’s Bath is not without its young people but it is an appropriate stage for so many of her older ones” (Lane, 170).

Age and Money (chapter 10)

How they live in Bath or elsewhere depends on their income. Some of Austen’s characters got richer as they aged. These include Mr. Weston, Mr. Cole, John Knightley, Robert Martin, Mr. Jennings (now deceased), Mr. Gardiner, Captain Wentworth, and Charles Bingley’s father. They all prospered in their work.

Others, though, like Austen’s naval brothers and Henry, got poorer as they aged. They suffered reverses from “the vagaries of their profession[s].” Captain Harville has been wounded, causing him to fall on hard times, and Mrs. Smith of Persuasion has lost a fortune due to her husband’s extravagance. Mrs. Bates, a clergyman’s widow, lost her income when her husband died.

Those in the lower classes might be miserable in old age, like “old John Abdy” of Emma. Well-off families, though, were expected to care for their household servants in old age. For example, three servants of Edward Ferrars’s father receive yearly annuities from his estate.

Wills and inheritance, of course, played an important part in Austen’s novels and her life. Most famously, the entail on the Bennets’ estate, and the Dashwoods’ uncle’s will, cause the girls in the story to be urgently in need of husbands.

The Dangerous Indulgence of Illness (chapter 11)

Mrs. Bennet is constantly fearing her husband’s death, which will leave the family penniless. Illness and death were constant threats in Austen’s world (as they are today, of course). This chapter discusses Austen’s final illness. Surprisingly, she wrote Sanditon during that time, which includes absurd hypochondriacs exaggerating their own illnesses.

Sea-bathing was considered a cure-all, and the Knightleys, Dr. Shirley, and Mary Musgrove try it at seaside resorts like the fictional Sanditon. Others go to Bath to take the waters for their “gout and decrepitude.” Mr. Allen, General Tilney, Admiral Croft, and Mrs. Smith of Persuasion go to Bath for their health, as did some of Austen’s friends and relations.

For Dr. Shirley of Persuasion,  “coming to Lyme for a month did him more good than all the medicine he took; . . . being by the sea always makes him feel young again.”
C. E. Brock, public domain

Illness is also a way to control others in Austen’s novels. Dr. Grant, Mary Musgrove, Fanny Dashwood, Mrs. Bennet, Mr. Woodhouse, and Mrs. Churchill all use illness or pretended illness to get their own way.

Once Mrs. Churchill actually dies, though, her illnesses are taken seriously. Austen uses several deaths as plot devices, including this one which frees Frank to marry. Dr. Grant’s death similarly frees Edmund and Fanny to take the living of Mansfield Park.

Lane says, “Mansfield Park is the only novel in which ideas of the hereafter find a place” (206). Fanny worries about Tom, during his illness, considering “how little useful, how little self-denying his life had (apparently) been”—she’s worried about him not going to heaven. And Austen indicates that, while society does not punish a man for adultery as it does a woman, the penalties “hereafter” will be more equal.

The chapter includes a fascinating list of the funeral expenses for Elizabeth Austen’s elaborate burial (Edward Austen Knight’s wife). For example, 22 mourning cloaks were hired for the day, and 60 pairs of black gloves bought for family, servants, and others, including the carpenter and bricklayer.

“Jane Austen’s attitude to the death of others ranged between the insouciant, the pragmatic, and the heartfelt” (Lane, 216). She of course approached her own death very seriously. She took Holy Communion one last time, while she could still understand it, about a month before her death.

For more on this topic, see my article, “Preparation for Death and Second Chances in Austen’s Novels,” which draws partly from Lane’s ideas.


The author explores how Austen might have fared in old age. She would probably have become more famous. Her sister Cassandra, Jane’s heir, prospered financially as the years went on, and Jane would have prospered with her.

The book ends, “Apart from the sad loss of Jane, Cassandra’s old age was in fact a secure and comfortable one. If only she had been able to share it with her sister” (Lane, 225).

I’ve only been able to give you a small taste of the riches in Growing Older with Jane Austen, but I hope you’ve found some ideas you can pursue on your own. If you can get a copy of the book (perhaps through your library), I highly recommend it. It’s well worth exploring the lives of older men and women in Austen’s novels and in Jane Austen’s world.

What do you think would have been most difficult about growing older in Jane Austen’s England? What might have been better about it than growing older in our society today?

For more on the topic of aging women in Jane Austen’s novels, see:

“Growing Older with Jane Austen, Part 1”

“’My Poor Nerves’: Women of a Certain Age on the Page,” about perimenopausal women in Austen

Past the Bloom: Aging and Beauty in the Novels of Jane Austen,” by Stephanie M. Eddleman, a fascinating article

Three Stages of Aging with Pride and Prejudice,” by Emily Willingham, a light look at how we identify with different characters as we have more life experience 

Age and Money in Austenland”: Susan Allen Ford’s review of Growing Older with Jane Austen

And, of course, the source for most of these two posts:

Growing Older with Jane Austen, by Maggie Lane

Brenda S. Cox writes about Faith, Science, Joy, and Jane Austen. Her recent book is Fashionable Goodness: Christianity in Jane Austen’s England.

This June she will be speaking about Mr. Collins at Jane Austen Regency Week in Alton, England, and would love to see some of you there!

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Growing Older with Jane Austen by Maggie Lane: Review and Highlights by Brenda S. Cox

“A woman of seven and twenty,” said Marianne, after pausing a moment, “can never hope to feel or inspire affection again”—Sense and Sensibility, chapter 8.

“Without thinking highly either of men or matrimony, marriage had always been her [Charlotte Lucas’s] object; it was the only provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want. This preservative she had now obtained; and at the age of twenty-seven, without having ever been handsome, she felt all the good luck of it”—Pride and Prejudice, chapter 22.

“Anne, at seven-and-twenty, thought very differently from what she had been made to think at nineteen”—Persuasion, chapter 4.

Marianne Dashwood expresses the views of popular literature of the time when she says that a 27-year-old woman is too old for love. In Pride and Prejudice, Charlotte Lucas is desperate at age 27, and accepts Mr. Collins. But in Persuasion, Austen overturns the conventions by showing us a mature, 27-year-old woman who does find love, though her society would say she’s over the hill.

All Jane Austen’s other heroines are younger, between 16 (Marianne Dashwood) and 22 (Jane Bennet, and Charlotte Heywood of Sanditon). The heroes are somewhat older, from their early twenties to mid-thirties, with Mr. Knightley the oldest at 37 or 38.  These ages are probably standard fare for books including a marriage plot (though Austen of course offers other themes as well).

However, many older characters in Austen’s novels influence those young people’s lives. We can learn a lot about aging in Austen’s world from her novels.

I’m glad that some years ago I got a copy of Maggie Lane’s Growing Older with Jane Austen. I learn new things from it each time I re-read it. I’ll tell you up front, though, that currently there are only some overpriced used copies available online, though I hope you might be able to borrow a copy through your library. (I’d love to see this classic reissued, at least as an ebook!)

So, I want to share with you just a few of Maggie Lane’s insights into aging in Jane Austen. It’s hard to choose from such riches; I wish I could cover the whole book. Lane explores the topic of aging through Austen’s novels, other writings, and letters, as well as Austen’s own life and her family’s lives. I’ll give you some tastes of the first half of the book this month, and the second half next month.


Jane Austen was aware of the challenges of growing older. Lane starts with several of Austen’s comments that show compassion for older people and awareness that she herself was aging. For example, Austen wrote of her elderly acquaintance, “poor Mrs. Stent”: “we must be merciful, for perhaps in time we may come to be Mrs. Stents ourselves, unequal to anything & unwelcome to everybody” (Letters, April 21, 1805).

Austen herself, Lane says, “was more contented, busy and fulfilled at thirty-eight than at twenty-nine. . . . She had less than four years left to live, but what she accomplished in her brief lifespan would bring pleasure to readers across continents and for centuries to come . . .” (9).

The Loss of Youth and Beauty (chapter 1)

Beauty was crucially important to young women of Austen’s time because it enabled them to find husbands, along with security and income.

Two Austen heroines, Marianne Dashwood and Anne Elliot, lose their “bloom.” Lane defines that as “a healthy, glowing skin free from blemishes and wrinkles.” Health was fragile in this day of “little medical undertanding or treatment.” A woman’s “bloom” could be lost through suffering or sickness, as happened to Marianne and Anne (as well as to Eliza Williams, offstage in Sense and Sensibility). The loss of bloom and beauty materially damaged a woman’s chances of getting a husband and a home of her own. However, both Marianne and Anne are restored by the love of those around them (Lane, 14-17).

Anne Elliot recovers her “bloom” at the seaside.
C. E. Brock, public domain.

One conduct book of the time, The Mirror of Graces, suggests that at age 30, a woman lays aside youthfulness, and “arrays herself in the majesty of sobriety, or in the grandeur of simple magnificence.” By the time she is 50, she should “gracefully” throw aside ornamentation and descend into old age (Lane, 20). Elizabeth Elliot is approaching the “dangerous” age of 30. Mrs. Weston of Emma must be in her late thirties, though Frank Churchill describes her as a “pretty young woman.”

Several role models in the novel are older women like Mrs. Weston, whose “sense of self-worth is not dependent on her appearance, or on male reaction to it” (Lane, 25). Mrs. Croft and Lady Russell are likewise secure in their age and appearance. It is a man, Sir Walter Elliott, age 54, who is most concerned about age and most vain of his looks!

My Time of Life (chapter 2)

“Age plays a large part in how we perceive ourselves and others, even today,” Lane says (38). Austen gives us full pictures of her characters, appropriate for the “time of life” of each one. “With the lightest of touches, Jane Austen grounds her characters in the age range they inhabit. Small details of clothes, hair or deportment, or more frequently and consistently of speech, outlook and habit, help us perceive her old characters to be middle-aged or elderly” (Lane, 41). Mr. Woodhouse, though, shows himself to be “older in ways than in years.” His fears, hatred of change, love of youthful habits and furnishings, and his speech all show him as a unique but elderly person. Mrs. Jennings and Mrs. Bates also speak and reminisce in ways that show their age.

For Austen, youth is not enough. Mrs. Bennet, for instance, had “youth and beauty” enough to capture a husband, but not the depth of character needed for aging well. Austen uses the phrases “the evening of life,” in Emma, and “November of life,” in Persuasion. “In both instances, what is shown is an awareness of passing time, and acknowledgment that to live a satisfying full lifespan, the charm and freshness of youth need to be supplemented and then succeeded by something deeper” (Lane, 39).

Mrs. Bennet was probably in her early 40s, though we often imagine her as older.
C. E. Brock, public domain

Parent Against Child (chapter 3)

Most of the older people in Austen’s novels are parents. The parents of marriageable daughters would likely have been in their early forties, though the movies often show them much older.

Lane explores the tensions between the generations in Austen’s novels: Edward Ferrars against his mother, Tom Bertram against his father, William Elliot against the head of his family, Henry Tilney against his father, even Colonel Brandon against his own father before S&S starts.

Parents were no longer arranging marriages for their children. “In the eighteenth century, it was increasingly believed that the way to promote fidelity in marriage was to allow couples to follow their hearts, rather than forcing them into the dynastic arranements of the past.” Couples, however, still had to get parental approval, as we see in Austen’s novels. The Morlands, for example, will not countenance Catherine’s marriage to Henry until General Tilney gives his “appearance of consent” (Lane, 57).

Propriety dictated that the younger generation defer to the older generation, and Austen criticizes those who are disrespectful. Anne Elliot, despite her father’s selfishness and foolishness, always treats him respectfully. (I would add, this was a religious duty, to honor one’s parents.) Emma is rebuked most strongly, and repents most deeply, when she makes fun of an older woman, Miss Bates.

Lane goes on to explore “the joy of grandchildren” and “the importance of aunts” in the novels. Elizabeth Bennet’s aunt, Mrs. Gardiner, provides “a model of how an aunt/niece relationship, or indeed any relationship between the generations, should be” (Lane, 71).

Old Wives (chapter 4)

Along with other family relationships, Austen illustrates a whole range of marriages. From the ill-matched Bennets to the well-matched Gardiners and Crofts, Austen “shows us every kind of marriage” so her heroines can learn what to imitate and what to avoid.

Lane discusses “old wives,” meaning women “who had been married long enough to come to some accommodation with the choices they had made in youth and to live with whatever idiosyncrasies they may have discovered in their husbands” (Lane, 72). Some are happy, some are not, mostly depending on their own attitudes.

One of Mrs. Bennet’s worst characteristics is self-pity, “a severe failing in Austen’s estimation, because it is something that could and should be remedied” (Lane, 73). In contrast, Charlotte Collins and Mrs. Grant make the best of their situations with less-than-ideal husbands, and enjoy their lives. Mrs. Price (Fanny’s mother) and Mary Musgrove, however, complain and grumble about the choices they have made.

Clergymen’s wives had an important place in the community, as we see with Mrs. Elton. But their positions were also precarious. The husband’s death meant a loss of home and income, as happened to poor Mrs. Bates. Jane herself, with her mother and sister, suffered the loss of most of their income when Jane’s clergyman father died.

Miss Bates is Jane Austen’s quintessential “old maid,” “poor and laughed at,” but deserving respect.
C.E. Brock, public domain

Old Maids (chapter 5)

The alternative to marriage, a single life, involved being a potentially despised “old maid.” In Austen’s own family, there were several late marriages which rescued an older woman from that fate. Austen also had some friends who were older, impoverished, single women.

In Emma, Emma discusses old maids. Harriet is shocked that Emma does not plan to marry, because being “an old maid at last” is “so dreadful.” Emma disagrees, saying, “a single woman of good fortune is always respectable, and may be as sensible and pleasant as anybody else!” But, she adds, “a single woman with a very narrow income must be a ridiculous, disagreeable old maid! The proper sport of boys and girls” (Lane, 96). This, of course, reflects Emma’s prejudices. Miss Bates, poor and foolish, is the quintessential example of an old maid in Austen’s novels. In contrast, Emma also includes three respectable single teachers and two governesses. (Though Jane Fairfax is only expected to be a governess, which she compares to slavery.) These were the alternatives for women who did not marry.


In later chapters, which we’ll look at next month, Lane discusses aging men, widows and dowagers, age and money, and illness and death. In the meantime, I’ve listed some online sources you might want to explore.


Let’s discuss in the comments section:

Who is your favorite older character (let’s say over 35; lifetimes were shorter then) in Austen’s novels? Who is your least favorite older character? Why? Do they show you anything particular about aging in Austen’s England?


Here are some to choose from (age estimates with a ? are my own guesses):

P&P: Mrs. Bennet (probably between 41-48?), Mr. Bennet (?), Mrs. Gardiner (“several years younger than Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Phillips”), Mr. Gardiner (?), Lady Catherine de Bourgh (perhaps in her late 40s or early 50s?, as she has a daughter around Darcy’s age of 28)

Persuasion: Mrs. Croft (38), Admiral Croft (40s or 50s?), Sir Walter Elliot (54), Lady Russell (50s?)

S&S: Mrs. Dashwood (40), Mrs. Jennings (late 40s, probably?; her eldest daughter Lady Middleton is 26 or 27), Sir John Middleton (about 40)

Mansfield Park: Dr. Grant (45), Mrs. Grant (?), Mrs. Rushworth (40s?), Sir Thomas Bertram (50s?), Lady Bertram (about 50?; married 30 years ago)

Emma: Mr. Weston (40s), Mrs. Weston (late 30s?), Mr. Woodhouse (50s or 60s, perhaps? He “had not married early,” but has a 20-year-old daughter), Mrs. Bates (“very old”), Miss Bates (“middle of life”)

Northanger Abbey: General Tilney (“past the bloom, but not past the vigour of life”), Mr. Allen (older, has gout), Mrs. Allen (was at school with Isabella’s mother, Isabella is 22, perhaps the mothers are in their 40s)

Lady Denham of Sanditon (70), Lady Osborne of The Watsons (49)

You can no doubt add others!


For more on the topic of aging women in Jane Austen’s novels, see:

Growing Older with Jane Austen, Part 2

“’My Poor Nerves’: Women of a Certain Age on the Page,” about perimenopausal women in Austen

Past the Bloom: Aging and Beauty in the Novels of Jane Austen,” by Stephanie M. Eddleman, a fascinating article

Three Stages of Aging with Pride and Prejudice,” by Emily Willingham, a light look at how we identify with different characters as we have more life experience 

And, of course, the source for most of the above:

Growing Older with Jane Austen, by Maggie Lane

Brenda S. Cox writes about Faith, Science, Joy, and Jane Austen. Her recent book is Fashionable Goodness: Christianity in Jane Austen’s England.

This June she will be speaking at Regency Week in Alton, England, and would love to see some of you there!

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